


The exciting buzz of a new message

by themoonowl



Series: A Real Hero [23]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Biotics (Mass Effect), Bisexuality, Citadel Coup, Emojis. Lots of emojis, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Hospitals, M/M, Mass Effect 3, POV Kaidan Alenko, Spectre Kaidan Alenko, Texting, Wrestlemania references, cerberus sucks, working out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27328465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoonowl/pseuds/themoonowl
Summary: What did Kaidan do after Mars?Watch TV. Get back in shape. Be a badass Spectre. And text a very special guy.A lot.A mini trilogy of fics filling in what Kaidan was doing before rejoining the Normandy.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko & Male Shepard, Kaidan Alenko & Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard
Series: A Real Hero [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1429021
Kudos: 17





	1. Boredom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan's feeling restless in Huerta Memorial as his injuries slowly heal. Too slowly. So he decides to send a text.

Shepard's birthday cake was really good. And it was made by Vega? Guess Kaidan had competition waiting for him back on the Normandy. If he ever was getting back, what with that Spectre offer from Udina. And—his stomach twisted into a knot—Biotics Division. It was killing him not knowing where they were. So much to do and he was confined to a damn hospital bed.

Bored out of his mind, too.

Last time he’d stayed in a hospital this long was after they’d put in the L2 implant in his head and that—he shuddered at the memory—that _really_ wasn't a good time.

There were  _ some _ ways to pass the time however. Watching TV, talking to that drell, Tannor _ —no, that wasn't his name. He said his real name was Thane— _ or just. Counting the cars outside. Being alone with his thoughts.

Thoughts that kept drifting to Shepard.

He’d buzzed off his curls again, back to that regs-compliant look. Still looked good, but man. That hair. 

_ ”Are you flirting with me, Commander?” Shepard looks away and brushes the back of his neck, a shy kind of smile on his full lips. Just like on their date three years ago, on the Citadel.  _ Kaidan's stomach turned into another knot.

He sighed, his fingers just itching to do—something. He sprung up his omni and started to type.

_ "Hey. Hospital's kinda dull. If you ever feel like chatting, hit me up, any time of day." _

Kaidan clicked send, that knot in his stomach so tight now, it was almost like he was being stabbed.

Or. 

Wait. That wasn't— 

_ Crap! _

He picked up the bucket next to his bed and—

Just in time. He pulled a tissue from the nightstand and wiped the chunks of chocolate cake off his face.

Yeah, maybe eating that slice wasn't the best idea. But he couldn’t just leave it—it’d spoil, and, well. It couldn’t just go to waste. It was a gift from Shepard, that, and the really nice bottle of whiskey.  _ Too _ nice, even. He put the bucket down and pressed the button for the nurse.

His omni-tool buzzed.

_ "Hey! Omw to rescue some people, prob from cerberus, can't say more. Gonna let u know how it went soon!" _

Kaidan didn’t waste a second and typed back:

_ "Good luck and stay safe!" _

Shepard immediately replied.

_ "Ty! 🙂" _

Nurse Martinez opened the door with a worried look on his face that soon turned disappointed after checking what was inside the bucket. Then came a long lecture on how Kaidan really shouldn’t eat any solid food yet, especially not that high in sugar. He threatened to confiscate the whiskey too, just to be safe, but luckily Kaidan managed to convince him not to.

After a dose of Benadryl and some routine tests, Kaidan crashed.

He woke up dizzy and in darkness—guess it was night time on the Citadel. He checked the clock and—a new notification from Shepard, two messages from four hours ago. How long was he out of it? He opened it.

_ "We rescued some kids from cerberus, at grissom academy. Their biotics were pretty powerful, but there were also some engineering students too! So proud of all of those kids 😭😤🥰” _

_ “How are you?" _

Kids? Grissom Academy? His thoughts couldn’t help but go out to his students again. And Shepard saved them from Cerberus? What would Cerberus even want with a bunch of kids? Sickly shivers spread to every part of his body as grim scenarios began to plague his mind. He started typing.

_ "Sorry for replying this late, I just woke up. Anyways, great job on evacuating Grissom Academy! My students would usually come from there, from the Biotics Ascension Program. Great kids. Miss them a lot. Hope they're doing well." _

Not long after Kaidan clicked send, three dots showed up, and soon a new message.

_ "Hope so too. I'm sure they’re kicking ass, just like their teacher 😉" _

That winking emoji made Kaidan’s bruised cheeks ache from all the blood and heat that suddenly rushed up his face. Though, Shepard was using a lot of those. Maybe that was how he chatted with people? 

_ “Thanks,”  _ Kaidan began to write. Then added a smiling face and clicked send.

The small grey text under his message said that the message was delivered. Then “delivered an hour ago.” Then “delivered two hours ago.”

Maybe Kaidan had overdone it with that last text? Or—he checked the clock on his omni and finally noted the time. Five in the morning. Shepard must’ve fallen asleep.

Then, why did he reply so fast? And. He wasn't sleeping? Maybe he wasn't sleeping because he waited for a reply? Why would he stay awake just for a—Kaidan's cheeks flushed, a dumb grin forcing its way on his face.

It almost felt like he was back in middle school again. All that texting, crushes, girlfriends, and—and his best friend Trev. 

_ Kaidan comes up with the idea for the two of them to practice kissing, since Kaidan’s already kissed a girl—his first girlfriend Miri—before. Warmth presses on Kaidan's stomach when he kisses Trev, in the same way as when he kisses Miri. Trev pulls away and sticks out his tongue, saying how kissing is gross. A weird kind of sadness washes over him at his friend’s words _ .

Then college and _ —the bottle lands on Russ, the tall, well-built guy with tight, curly hair that plays college hockey, and the whole room fills with oohs and aahs. The smell of cedar cologne fills the closet, Russ’s soft lips on his, heat in Kaidan’s stomach. Puts the thought of what that means away because exam season starts next week and there's way too many exams to start studying for. _

He really wasn't that bright when he was younger, huh? Not that he was now either. It only took a date, a death, and a whole year to pass for him to realise that he liked guys too. Especially one special guy that came back from that death.

* * *

_ "Hospital's boring as hell,” _ Kaidan started typing.

It really was. Days passed, each not much different than the one before, mounting up to about two weeks since Shepard’s last visit. Was this how Kaidan's exes had felt whenever he was off on active duty?

Exes. Shepard. Kaidan shook his head. It wasn’t like they were dating. Just chatting. Because they were friends—or well, more like repairing their friendship after the whole Mars thing. Sure, there was something more there, at least on Kaidan’s end, but for now—just friends. Yeah. Kaidan continued typing.

_ “At least Thane's good company (he says hi by the way). And I've managed to find some Wrestlemania: Galaxy reruns on TV, but there's only so many episodes I can watch before my brain starts to rot. It's fun though.” _

_ And easy on the eyes, _ Kaidan thought before continuing,

_ “Anyways, how're things with you?" _

As always, those three grey dots appeared almost immediately. They never failed to put a smile on Kaidan’s face.

_ "Wrestlemania! Fav character???" _

_ “Oh and say hi to thane from me too” _

_ "Tough question. I like Matriarch Bicepcia's storyline (that's what they’re called? Storylines?) But I'm gonna have to go with Mister Maple. Supporting the home team, you know how it is. What's yours?" _

_ "The Deadman IX!!!!!! 🙌💀🦴💯😤⚰️🧟♂️☠️" _

Man, those were a lot of emojis.

_ "Yeah, he's pretty cool too.” _

Kaidan added a flexed bicep emoji and hit send. Felt fitting.

_ “Best undertaker so far. Tragic storyline with his mom and dad 😭⛅😔” _

_ “Haven’t watched that one. Think I’ll do it tomorrow. Kinda need a break from watching Wrestlemania though, it’s a bit too much?” _

_ “Oh yeah. Watched it during exam season at uni, so my brain wouldn’t explode from all the circuits and math 🤯🤪🤖🧠😫🤒☕📝" _

Emoji overload again. Okay. Maybe Kaidan should step up his game too?

_ “Wish I knew about this when I was in college 🎓. All I watched was How It’s Made 🏭 and Battlebots 🤖. Might put on How It’s Made today, actually. Do something productive with my brain 🧠 besides feeding it painkillers for the L2 implant.” _

That should do it. Send.

_ “How’s your head? You feeling better?” _

_ “Yeah, it’s a process. Didn’t feel like throwing up today, so I’ve made progress at least. Doc says a few more days and they’re gonna switch me to solid food. Tried the cake you snuck in though, pretty good!” _

It was best not to tell him that the slice ended up liquified in a throw-up bucket.

_ “Glad you liked it! 😊😋🍰” _

Kaidan didn’t even have the time to savor that blushing face emoji—being in a hospital was really boring if he was getting excited over a damned cartoon symbol—before Shepard sent another message.

_ “Joker just reached the system, so I’m off, ttyl! Have fun watching how it’s made 🤓🤖🏭” _

That brought Kaidan back. Scanning planets back on the old Normandy, sending in recon teams… Oh, and the time Tali got to lead one all on her own? The way she got so excited about it and came back with more stuff than they even needed? He sighed. What he wouldn't give to be doing that again, making sure everything was in order, scanning every piece brought back by the recon teams, checking whether it was properly sanitised and decontaminated. What he wouldn’t give to be there with Shepard.

_ “Have fun planet scanning!” _ Kaidan replied, adding almost every space-related emoji he could find.

* * *

Kaidan’s chest fluttered every time his omni would buzz with a new message from Shepard.

_ “Raided a cerberus lab today and get this: they marked a hanar medigel upgrade as ‘failed’. What a bunch of assholes 🤦♂️👎”  _

_ “Anyways, what’s up?” _

Huh. A medigel upgrade huh? That sounded familiar. Kaidan replied,

_ “I’ve heard some doctors here looking for a new medigel upgrade for non-humans. Could be useful to them.” _

Though, another mission involving Cerberus? Those were all Shepard had talked about for the past three weeks. Kaidan knew they had their dirty fingers wedged in a number of places across the galaxy, but. Something stank there, really bad.

_ “Good to hear, gonna drop the schematics off with them next time I visit.” _

Visit? Kaidan’s heart skipped a beat, and he immediately started typing.

_ “About that, I’m feeling much better, already up on my feet and making trouble for the nurses (they’ll probably throw me out of here soon 🙂). Thought I’d touch base with you about Udina’s offer in person.” _

_ “Should be there in a day or two. Have a lot of stuff to drop off on the citadel anyways, cargo bay’s getting full (vega’s mad about his weights lol 💪🥊) and we could use a large supply run before we meet with the krogan diplomats 😉🍲🥫” _

A day or two. Kaidan stupidly grinned at his omni’s display. Texting was fun, but, well, he really missed seeing the guy in person. Or hearing his voice. Or watching him smile. Or—wait. He needed to type back.

_ “Great! I’m in the same room as before. See you soon!” _

He added a beaming blushing face emoji before clicking send. 

A day or two. He was feeling better. He was going to see Shepard again. And he was about to become the second human Spectre. Things were perhaps looking up.


	2. Doubt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan Alenko, Council Spectre.

Kind of a bummer that Shepard nor anyone else from the Normandy wasn't there for his induction into the Spectres.  _ Or Mom and Dad, _ Kaidan thought and swallowed the lump that formed in his throat whenever his mind drifted that way. Not that it was a big ceremony or anything, but it sure felt kind of—like he was supposed to feel proud. But how could anyone feel proud while the whole galaxy was burning? 

He exhaled a weary sigh as he trod the halls of the Citadel Embassies, trying to ease some of that bitter dread that had settled in his chest. Udina had told him the Spectre offices were right across from the human embassy, but—oh. He was standing in front of it.

He pressed a hand on the orange holo and it turned green. A disembodied voice said: "Major Kaidan Alenko. Spectre status recognized," and the doors opened.

His jaw dropped. The sheer size of the place. He slowly walked among dozens of screens lining the walls, all sorts of news footage on them, from all over the galaxy. The hallway ended with what looked to be a massive terminal with a QEC panel on the side.

Kaidan pressed the On button. The first message was some kind of automated welcome, but the second—the second said that he'd just received a staggeringly large sum of money, as a sort of a first paycheck from the Council. A good thing too, because he didn't have a lot on him when the Normandy left Earth.

But this wasn't the time for shopping for new stuff. At least, not the fancy kind. He immediately got to work getting the things he'd need: ammo, guns, new armor plates, and a new breather helmet. Estimated date of delivery for all that: three days. Good. Just enough time to get some other things sorted out.

The Spectre offices had a gym too: nothing too fancy, just a punching bag, treadmill, some normal weights, and some really heavy ones for either krogan or biotics. Though, had there been krogan Spectres before? He needed to look that up later.

He put on the sweatpants he'd hastily bought from a gift shop on the Citadel and began: first some jumping jacks, then set the treadmill to about ten kilometres—out of which he did only five. Rusty. All that time in the hospital really messed him up.

His muscles all heated up, he did some stretches—at least he was still decent in that area. All he could do in the hospital were stretches, and now he could even reach down to his toes without his head becoming stuffy from being upside down.

Some crunches and leg raises next and finally he took to the weights. He pulled some of the normal ones first. Did some squats, some bicep curls, all that jazz.  _ Wonder how many of these do those Wrestlemania wrestlers have to do each day, _ a thought passed through, which he shook off. He really enjoyed talking to Shepard about that show, but it had really wedged itself into his head. Not in a nice way either. And he really needed his brain's full power for the next portion of his workout.

He chugged down a soothingly long drink of water, then closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. He focused on the hundred kilo cube in front of him. He'd always pictured his implant working like a big machine, and he could almost see the cogs in the back of his head come alive with a whirr as the cube started to glow and float some ten centimetres off the ground. Then a meter. He wasn't even breaking a sweat.

He slowly put the cube down and walked over to the hundred-fifty one. Then the hundred-seventy-five one. By the time he'd reached the two-hundred kilo cube, his forehead was drenched in sweat. Rusty again. His personal best was about three hundred and fifty before the whole "smashing his head on the side of a shuttle" thing happened.

Still, it wasn't a small injury. He put the cube down and took another swig of water before pressing the cool bottle to the back of his head.  _ God, that feels good. _ That was enough for the day.

He took to the showers next—and this gym only had two? Probably not a lot of people came to this place at the same time. His mind couldn't help but drift to Shepard again, the two of them just being a badass pair of Spectres—working out together, doing missions, guns blazing and—Kaidan shook his head.  _ Focus, damn.  _

First he needed to do these specific missions on his own, and  _ then _ maybe he could think about the action vid in his head starring two Council Spectres. Especially the, uh, softer parts of that hypothetical vid.

He got out of the shower, put on one of the seven Alliance uniforms he had and hit the Wards for a place to stay.

He was one foot through the door in the motel room he'd booked for three days, when his omni buzzed. A message from Shepard, an image attached. His chest fluttered. He opened it almost immediately.

_ "Can't tell you about the mission we were on since it's classified, but have this 😁💪 the Normandy misses you, Spectre Alenko 😉" _

The picture attached was Shepard in that N7 hoodie he wore, his arm around Wrex, and Liara and Garrus on both sides. Smiles lined all their faces, even Garrus's.

That bitter dread crawled through Kaidan's chest again. The gang was getting back together, and—he wasn't there.

He put the duffle bag down, sat down on the creaky bed and started typing.

_ "Looking good 😉" _

Was that too…flirty?  _ Fuck it. _ He continued.

_ "Missing the Normandy too, but duty calls, I'm afraid. As soon as I'm done here, I'll join up, I promise." _

Send. Three dots later and a text arrived.

_ "Can't wait! 🚀" _

Kaidan fell backwards onto the bed. His muscles had already started to ache from all the workout he did that day, but he had a lot more of it to do tomorrow. And two more days till his new gear arrived.

Hopefully the mission Udina was sending him on would be smooth and fast, so he could go back to doing some actual work against the Reapers. With Shepard.

* * *

Holding his breath and clutching his gun, Kaidan slowly paced the debris-filled room. No buzzing in his teeth at least—which meant there were no biotics in the immediate area.

A faint orange light glowed from one of the rooms. He tightened his grip, turned the corner and—

Empty. Just a terminal sitting idle.

Kaidan activated the decryption program on his omni and ran his glowing hand over the holo keyboard. It cracked easily.  _ Almost too easy. _ Either someone was in a hurry to get the hell out of there or—well. Something stank there, and it wasn't just the overwhelming number of chemicals in the air.

He checked the files, including a layout of the facility—and that layout didn't show any signs of life in the whole building other than him.

Damn it. Another bad intel? The Council was supposed to be a major player, pulling all the strings, and this was the second empty Cerberus facility they'd sent him at.

Well, not them. Just Udina, more like. The second human Spectre and the Council was too busy to even show up at the mission briefs.

Kaidan sprung up his omni, his finger hovering just above the call button, but—maybe he should check this place out first. Should've done that with the first one, too.

He walked the eerily empty halls, his hand tight on his gun again—it was a Cerberus facility after all, never knew what kind of trouble the place itself might give him—and walked from room to room.

Most of the facility looked normal: crew quarters with bunk beds, a large mess, communal showers, standard lab outpost stuff.

Then he got to a door that took a bit more time to crack. It opened with a hiss, revealing _ —oh god. _

It was a hall filled with about two dozen lifepods lined on both sides of the room.  _ Full _ lifepods. Kaidan ran an omni-scan on one of them—no signs of a heartbeat or neurological activity or anything. Just what looked like a salarian body, their glowing dead eyes staring right back at him.

He ran an ID check on the pod, based on the data he got from the terminal before. The person's name was Luhum Nizona, used to work in the tech department of the colony of Tiptree three years ago. Filed for maternity leave, then disappeared. Colonists didn't know what happened.

Kaidan's stomach turned.

He inspected all of the lifepods. All were non-humans that just happened to take up work on human colonies. All of them filed for some kind of leave first, then vanished without a trace.

They were ordinary, non-military people _. _ Scientists, cooks, assistants, engineers. This was brutal. Sickening. Disgust crawled on his skin. These people had probably died in a lot of pain. Their families were probably kept in the dark too.

This was too much. Should he report this to the Council? Those were unorthodox experiments Cerberus was doing after all, and on Council races. And they'd started long before the Reapers invaded.

Kaidan's thoughts darted to that Cerberus soldier on Mars. The one with the glowing eyes.  _ "How can you compare me to that thing?" A frown on Shepard's face, anger in his voice. _

Oh god. Shepard. He worked with  _ these _ people? That sweet guy actually teamed up with a bunch of monsters, just to take down the Collectors? Just didn't seem like him. He would've done  _ something  _ about it.

He did turn himself in. He did offer up a lot of intel he'd gathered over to the Alliance.

But. Kaidan's head started to hurt. He needed to report this to the Council. All of it. Hopefully they'd send him to an actually working facility next time. Hopefully he wouldn't be too late in stopping any of their other brutal experiments.

Hopefully Shepard would explain to him how he used to work with monsters.

* * *

Not even a shower could scrub off the disgust that lingered on Kaidan's skin after that Cerberus place. But it helped, at least somewhat.

He made himself some chamomile tea on the small electric stove in the same room that stood booked for almost two weeks now, and sat down on the creaky bed.

He turned on his omni's extranet connection—couldn't bring himself to do that so soon after he left that awful lab—and it instantly buzzed with a message from Shepard. From twelve hours ago.

That knot still tied tightly in Kaidan's stomach, he took the first gulp from his tea and opened it.

_ "Cerberus attacked a colony today. Benning. Evacuated as many people as we could, but this sucks. I thought they were all about helping humans and colonies, not this" _

Guess Kaidan wasn't the only one dealing with Cerberus bullshit that day. But. The way Shepard had said it,  _ thought they were all about helping. _ Is that why he'd stayed? To help? Even though they threw people in cages and did all sorts of experiments on them?

_ Deep breaths, Kaidan. _ He sipped his tea, and noticed the group photo from almost two weeks ago that sat in the "files" section of the chat window. Opened it.

Shepard smiling next to Wrex, Liara and Garrus. 

Cerberus's whole schtick was being humanity-first, even if meant doing awful stuff to non-humans, and here stood three of them—a krogan, an asari, a turian—posing with someone that used to work with Cerberus. Hell, Garrus even followed Shepard on that mission.

Kaidan sighed and took another sip. He needed to type back  _ something. _

_ "Had some troubles with Cerberus here too. Raided a lab. Got reminded of the awful experiments they do. Nightmare stuff." _

Sure enough the three dots appeared, but it took some time before Shepard replied this time.

_ "Yeah. And they're doing more and more awful stuff by the minute. Best we talk in person about it however, just in case." _

_ "Yeah, good call,"  _ Kaidan clicked send.

That knot in his stomach turned to guilt all of a sudden. _ I'm not sure that I've been wrong about Cerberus, but. I've been wrong about you. Talking like this, reminds me how much I like you. _

Kaidan opened that photo again. Shepard's hair had gotten a bit bigger and just a bit messy—his kind of messy. His full lips curved in a smile—didn't look like he was faking it. He'd given up all the intel he had about Cerberus to the Alliance—and it was a lot, nothing to sneeze at. Wrex, Liara and Garrus all smiled around him in a group hug—and he knew how much Wrex hated hugs of any kind.

Maybe he was in over his head. Maybe that lab made him remember all the bad things about Shepard, drowned out all the good he'd done. And there was a lot of good there.

Guess all he could do now was wait. He'd see him, the man he followed to hell and back, and they'd talk it out.

For now, he had other Cerberus facilities to scout out, other Spectre duties to do. It was a war after all, the greatest war of their lives, and he needed to do all he could, help every living soul in the galaxy as a Council Spectre.


	3. Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan comes back.

Shepard's texts started to be few in between ever since that empty Cerberus lab. Maybe the guy was busy or maybe—Kaidan's stomach tightened whenever he'd turn on his omni's extranet connection and it wouldn't buzz—what if that last message was a bit too on the nose?

He opened their chat window.  _ Nightmare stuff. _ Didn't sound like he was accusing Shepard of anything. Just stating his opinion.

_ A very loaded opinion. _

He turned his omni display off. He was overthinking this.

There'd been some scattered Alliance reports of a lot of stuff happening on Tuchanka—most of those had Shepard's name in them. Maybe that was it. Shepard was busy with the war effort.

While he was stuck raiding empty Cerberus labs.

Or rather, "gathering intel," as Udina put it. What intel—names of Cerberus employees? What good would that do? The Reapers were literally on Earth, right now. Every human colony was targeted by Reaper forces too, and the Council was worried about names? Guess nothing had changed since Sovereign three years ago.  _ Disgracing Saren my ass, _ that attack on the Citadel would've been way worse if they hadn't gotten to Ilos.

Kaidan packed his duffle bag and hit the gym. At least he could get in shape while he was doing all that useless work. Hone his skills for the actual war effort. Though, he should really ask Shepard about when he'd get here. Or do  _ something. _ Who knew being a Spectre could feel so…worthless?

At least he had resources and flexibility. Go anywhere he wanted, get the best gear and weapons.

He pushed himself hard on his workout this time: eleven kilometres—much better than the five he'd started out with about three weeks ago. Full two minutes of pushups, crunches, weighted squats, bicep curls, punches, kicks, three hundred kilos of  _ biotic _ lifts.

And the mirror reflected all that work, alright. He was looking like his old self again, liking what he saw. His biotics too, the cogs in his brain didn't feel rusty anymore.

_ Spectre Alenko. Fresh. Looking good. _

He checked the terminal on his way out.

_ Crap. _

The genophage? Cured? Shepard? Okay. The radio silence made sense, but. There was a lump in the back of his throat, the same lump as when Shepard released that rachni queen on Noveria—which apparently was another thing he'd done,  _ and _ her workers were helping out on the Crucible. Scared the crap out of poor old Marty out there, Ziggy had said.

Why would someone who worked for Cerberus cure the genophage? Kaidan knew about the sheer size of the krogan breeding rate before they were sterilised. It was definitely something that would make a dent in the Illusive Man's "human supremacy in the galaxy" plan.

Unless he'd do what the salarians did: use them and discard them afterwards.

No. He shook his head and turned the terminal off. That was crazy. He was crazy. His head hurt whenever he thought of this. He really needed some actual useful work. Get his mind off things.

He turned his omni's extranet connection on, opened Shepard's chat window and started typing.

_ "Good work on curing the genophage. Hope Wrex makes a good leader for the krogan." _

Sent. Turned his extranet connection off and headed to that motel room that he  _ really _ needed to switch up soon. Three weeks was a bit too long to stay both in a motel  _ and _ in the same one. 

He made sure to book a new place while he was still on the Citadel. Maybe closer to the Presidium. Not like he lacked the creds to do so now.

* * *

The Azure was already an improvement from that tiny cooped up hovel on Zakera Ward. It had a view of the Presidium and it was so close to it that some of those artificial day-night cycles bled out, making the mornings a bit less gloomy and confusing.

Kaidan was downstairs for breakfast, enjoying his eggs and coffee—finally some food that wasn't takeout—and scrolling through the news reports when his omni buzzed with a message.

Shepard. His heart skipped a beat.

_ "Thanks. Needed to be done. The krogan have suffered long enough, and wrex is the perfect leader" _

_ "Btw, got a vid I've been meaning to send you." _

A vid? He opened the file and—was that—a Reaper? What the hell was Shepard doing standing under a—

Oh.

Oh damn.

Oh  _ god. _

There were some rumors that a thresher maw was involved in the whole operation on Tuchanka, but he thought it was just that—rumors. Shepard was  _ there. _

And filmed the whole thing.

Kaidan's head felt like spinning.

He replayed the whole thing again: Shepard under a Reaper. A thresher maw comes from the left and topples the Reaper over.  _ Crap. _ He needed to find better angles of this.

But. Shepard was  _ there. _ While Kaidan was on a dumb “recon” mission. He should've joined sooner,  _ screw the Council. _ He closed the vid. There were new messages.

_ "As soon as I saw what was happening, I knew I had to film the whole thing and show you 😉😊 _ "

Kaidan stupidly grinned at his omni.  _ Knew I had to show you. _ His chest was full with warm flutters.

He blinked, once, twice. _Right._ Needed to reply.

_ "Goddamn that thing is massive! Glad you came out of that alive. And a thresher maw fighting a Reaper? Sounds like something I'd geek over as a teen." _

_ "Yeah, same here 🐉🤖" _

Kaidan sipped his coffee. Took a bite from the bacon strip on his plate that was getting kinda cold. That Cerberus lab seemed so far away in his mind now, and—right. Hackett had offered him a post in the Fifth Fleet, but. Well.

_ "Hey, you plan on coming to the Citadel any time soon?" _

Sent. Those three dots moved for a few seconds, and,

_ "Should be there in a few days. Gotta do a small detour first, something about another Cerberus base. Shouldn't take long." _

Cerberus? Again?  _ No, let it go damnit. _

_ "Great! I know we keep missing each other whenever you're here, what with all my work as a Spectre and everything, but I'd like to meet up. Been meaning to ask you something." _

Shepard replied almost instantly.

_ "Sure! Looking forward to seeing you, Major 😊" _

Another dumb grin on his face.

_ "Yeah. Same here 🙂." _

Kaidan finished his breakfast. Checked the news. Went to the Spectre office, checked the terminal there. Still nothing on Biotics Division. Still nothing on Mom and Dad. The resistance on Earth was still fighting each and every day. 

Hackett's message sat in his inbox, almost like the Admiral himself was staring, waiting for an answer. Sure, he could join the Fifth Fleet, see some action, but. Well. It was up to Shepard if he'd take him back. Guess he'd reply to Hackett then.

* * *

Duffle bag on his shoulder, Kaidan was on his way to the gym when his omni buzzed.

_ "Omw to the citadel, ETA about an hour. Wanna meet up in the spectre office? Got something classified I wanted to tell you, it should be safe there." _

_ "Sure, I was on my way there anyway. Meet you in an hour." _

_ "👍" _

Okay, cool. Kaidan sighed. Gym, a shower, meeting Shepard, hopefully going back aboard the Normandy. His day was all planned out.

He pressed the orange holo on the door and—

Sirens.

"Warning. Citadel security has been compromised. Warning."

What? Citadel security—

An explosion.

The door to Udina's office opened, "What is the meaning of this—"

Next thing he knew, he and Udina were in the Spectre office, Kaidan’s heart pounding  _ hard _ in his chest. He was putting on his armor padding. Plates too. Grabbed the new gun he got. Reloaded. "Did you call the rest of the Council?"

"I did. Couldn't get the salarian councilor on the line, but the rest are—"

The door opened to the asari and turian councilors.

"—on their way to this office."

"Spectre Alenko. What is going on?" the asari councilor asked.

"Can't say. The alarm just went off and then there was an explosion."

The turian councillor typed something on his omni tool. "I can't reach C-Sec. The comms are blocked."

"Okay, everyone get behind me. I'll check if the coast is clear and then give the signal."

"Right behind you, Major," Udina said.

Kaidan opened the door and took a peek. Coast was clear. He waved for the rest to follow.

They were almost at the elevator when—

Someone was coming up.

"Get down," Kaidan whispered, his hand tight on his gun, his heart in his stomach.

The elevator dinged, the doors opened to Thane, his omni-tool hand on the panel.

"Thane? What's going on?"

"Cerberus troops are all over the Citadel."  _ What? Cerberus? _ "They appear to be coming here next. I blocked this elevator, but there are other ways to enter. They just haven’t found them yet."

"Okay. Alright."  _ Shepard. An hour. _ "Shepard said he was on his way here. ETA—" Kaidan checked his omni. "—about thirty minutes."

"He'll need access to the docks. I'll see what I can do."

"Think you can do anything? You don't look so—"

"I am well.” A cough interrupted that sentence. No he wasn’t. “I will go set up an emergency channel. Joker is sure to check those."

"Okay. I'll try to get the Council to safety somehow, meet you on the other side. Stay safe."

"You too."

Kaidan went in the elevator and overrode the controls.

Cerberus. Here. The Citadel.

A thousand scenarios circled through his head. Shepard saying he'd come to the Citadel just before the attack?  _ Something classified I wanted to tell you. _ All those Cerberus missions he'd gone on? What if—

No. That was crazy. Shepard had proven time and time again that—

His teeth started to buzz. Another field made ripples just on the edge of his vision. A biotic was nearby.

Metal grinded against metal, a draft swooped in from above. The top of the elevator chamber had been ripped off, but—there wasn't anyone there.

That buzz again. Kaidan put a barrier on the Council first and then himself. Stopped the elevator, the doors opening to  _ somewhere _ on the Presidium.

"Everybody out now!" Kaidan clenched his hand on his gun and aimed at the elevator. The buzz was suddenly all around him, an image of something sharp and deadly closing in, his instinct telling him to just—

_ Move! _

Cerberus armor decloaked behind him. Two blades. One of them barely missed him.

He needed to think fast.

Skin, flesh, bone, _ nerves. _ He clenched his free fist. Biotic field clashed with biotic field and the figure writhed in pain. Two bullets did the job. One more in their head, just in case.

_ The Council. _

"Everyone okay?"

"Yes," the asari councilor replied. "We are unharmed."

Kaidan took one look at the assassin. Crap. Cerberus had biotics now? And they could cloak? This was bad. Really bad.

He needed to get the Council onto a shuttle. Hopefully no biotic ninjas would get on a moving vehicle.

Hopefully he'd contain the situation until Shepard got here.

* * *

Kaidan’s heart couldn’t stop pounding in his chest.

_ Warm, chocolate brown eyes he could just lose himself in stare behind the bluish holo of a visor. Shepard doesn’t want to shoot. Neither does he. _

_ “I better not regret this.” _

_ “You won’t.” _

Kaidan paced his room in the Azure. Duffle bag was already full with all of his stuff, ready to go. One click and he could be in the Fifth Fleet with Hackett. But.

Guess all those dead-end Cerberus missions Udina had been sending him on made sense now. The fact that he just “couldn’t get the salarian councilor on the line” when the whole attack was happening. The “classified thing” Shepard had wanted to talk about. Kaidan sat on the edge of the bed, head in his hands.

Udina had been dirty all along. And Kaidan was being used. By Udina. And.

And.

_ Brown eyes stare behind the barrel of a gun. Shepard's gun. Kaidan’s gun. _

Oh god. Sickly disgust crawled on his skin. He was being used and he almost got the rest of the Council killed. Almost shot Shepard. How could someone come back from something like this?

_ Cerberus troops on Mars, a gnaw in Kaidan’s stomach. “I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you, Kaidan! Please. Trust me.” _

_ “I'm not sure that I've been wrong about Cerberus, but. I've been wrong about you. Talking like this, reminds me how much I like you.” It hurts to smile, but Kaidan just can’t help it—it’s Shepard. _

_ “Come on, Shepard. Gun drawn on a councilor? Kinda looks bad.” _

_ Chocolate-brown eyes stare back, eyes he could just lose himself in. Eyes full of trust. Trust that needs to be repaid in kind. Trust that is repaid in kind, damnit. Despite everything, they're a team. "Had each other's backs, that bond is hard to break." Two badass Spectres saving the galaxy. That's supposed to be the plan. Not this. _

_ “I better not regret this.” _

He didn’t. But he regretted something else.

Kaidan’s implant twitched. He needed to move. Get out of here. Find Shepard. Talk. _Something._ Anywhere but here.

* * *

The locker in the crew quarters fit all of his stuff—not that there were a lot of those. Still, after about a month in the hospital, and another one in motels on the Citadel, the Normandy—even if it wasn't the good old SR1—really felt like coming back home.

He was given a top bunk, right above James—much better than a sleeping pod in the old Normandy—and he was making his bed for the night when the door opened.

"Hey. Getting settled?" Shepard crossed his arms and leaned on one of the bed frames. The way the light outside outlined the pose he was in—well. Kaidan only hoped he wasn't staring.

He went down the ladder. “Not much to unpack, really. Left Earth in a hurry. Just the clothes on my back and a few things I’ve picked up on the Citadel.” He went over to the bedding closet for a pillow. “Kinda like it. Living lean.”

“Well, let me know if there’s anything you need.”

“Will do, Commander.” He started putting the pillow in the pillow case.

“Glad to have you back on the Normandy, Major.”

“Glad to be back.” Kaidan reached over and put the pillow on the bed. “And, uh." He scratched the back of his head. "Glad we didn’t kill each other today.”

“Kaidan…”

“Hey, I’m good. Don’t worry. Messing with ya a little bit.” Shepard sighed and shook his head, a reluctant smirk on his face. “It did happen only a few hours ago, though. Still processing some stuff. Guess I need to sleep on it.”

“Well, we’re having some dinner in the mess. Wanna join? You’ll sleep better with a full stomach.” A loud growl came from Kaidan's abdomen, almost like a response. Made Shepard chuckle. And made Kaidan smile at the sight.

“I have missed Alliance rations, believe it or not. Think it's nostalgia. Can’t be anything else.”

“You should try one of mine sometime. James tells me they’re actually better than the regular meals.”

“Wait. How would Vega know that? Didn't know he decided to convert while I was gone.”

Shepard laughed. “Nah. He accidentally got one of Nav Specialist Warsi’s meals one morning, said he was ‘too sleepy and hungry’ to tell. Me and her shared one of mine, and we took Vega’s cranberry juice. Seemed only fair.”

“Hell, more than fair. He stole a whole ration. Left you both hungry.”

“He got some extra cleaning duty after that. But yeah. You come to dinner now, you’ll get a bite from whatever I’m having. Can’t refuse that offer.”

“Hmm. A bite, huh?” Kaidan crossed his arms and raised a brow. “Make it five and I’m game.”

Shepard narrowed his eyes. “Two.”

“Meet me in the middle? Three? I’ll throw in half my juice. Sweeten the deal.”

Shepard smiled, a big, wide grin, and. Kaidan remembered asking himself how someone could come back from that whole coup. From staring at each others’ guns. Guess this was how. That smile—it felt almost like old times.

“You got a deal, Major. Now get your ass to the mess.”

Kaidan exaggeratingly straightened and saluted, just like that stupid thing they used to do on the SR1 every time they'd pass by each other. “Yes, sir!”

Shepard left the crew quarters, one last smile before the door closed behind him. Kaidan’s muscles started to loosen up.

He was finally back on the Normandy. Yet to see some action, but he was with Shepard—that  _ action _ would definitely come looking for him soon. All that was left was finding some intel on his students. And to try and reach Mom and Dad somehow. This ship had a good comm specialist—Samantha Traynor, was it?—maybe she could find some way to get in touch with both. Might talk to her about it over dinner.

Yeah. This is where he belonged.


End file.
